Feeling Angry? Tips to Help You Cool Down & Let Go of Your Anger
Life doesn't always go as planned, and it's only natural to feel angry at times. But should you really be so fired up over someone driving out of turn at a four-way stop?
Some of your anger comes from the stress in your life. Managing stress might give you a calmer mind, and a clearer perspective on your anger. In other cases, lack of sleep can be part of what’s making you cranky. Better rest can help solve that. And remember, sometimes kindness towards others often has to begin with a little kindness towards yourself.
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How Stress-Induced Anger Impacts Your Body and Mind
The things you think, do, and say while stressed and angry can have devastating consequences on not only your relationships but also your physical and mental health. Experts at Harvard University explain how stress can impact the brain, noting that repeated exposure to this emotion can worsen existing problems or create new ones.
The Two Types of Stress That Cause You to Have a Short Fuse
Ok, so you're stressed, and it's causing you to react in anger. But what kind of stress are you experiencing? Both types — physical and mental — can result in feelings of heightened frustration.
Physical Stress
Can result from lack of sleep, poor diet, illness, and working your body too hard. Physical stress can present as fatigue, chronic pain, and headaches.
Mental Stress
has numerous potential causes, including sudden life changes, impending deadlines, world events, or generally feeling like you lack control over your life's circumstances. Mental stress can present as feeling irritable, unmotivated, angry, or sad.
The first step in managing your stress is to identify the root of the issue. Determine what's truly causing you to lash out. Is it physical or emotional? Then, use the following guidelines to prevent or better manage your stress and anger responses moving forward.
Make Lifestyle Changes to Prevent Future Stress and Anger
Making a few tweaks to your lifestyle may help you to cut back on stress and prevent heightened emotions. Here are a few options to try if you're battling constant stress and anger.
Get More Sleep
Lack of sleep is a serious problem among adults in the United States. Many have trouble falling asleep or wake up frequently throughout the night. When you're constantly tired, mental and physical stress are likely to follow. It's recommended that adults shoot for 7 to 9 hours of shut-eye each night, with women needing on average 20 more minutes of rest.
Stick to a Bedtime Routine
If you're feeling angry and keep falling short on sleep, incorporating a self-care regime into your nightly routine can help you feel less stressed and improve your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night. Try cutting out electronics about three hours before bed, and use this time to meditate, read, or listen to music.
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Squeeze in Some Physical Activity
Getting active can help improve your mood, confidence, and health! You don't need to run a marathon to reap the benefits of exercise. Just get moving!
The American Heart Association experts recommend adults aim for about 30 minutes of physical activity per day or 15 minutes of rigorous training. Whether you roller skate, shoot hoops, or take a long walk, exercising while rocking out to your favorite tunes can help improve your mood and reduce stress and anger.
Get Some Fresh Air
Taking some time to stop and smell the roses might help to prevent future anger. Nature has the way of always at least taking the edge off a little of your stress.
According to The American Institute of Stress, connecting with nature once per day can help to restore your mood. If you have a hectic schedule, squeeze in some outdoor time by taking calls outside or dining al fresco.
Practice Gratitude
If you're having a hard time letting go of negative thoughts, a gratitude journal can help you to reframe your thoughts and focus on what's going right in your life. If it's good enough for Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga, it's good enough for anyone!
If journaling isn't your thing, you can practice gratitude by taking a few moments to repeat what you're grateful for before starting your day. Incorporate your friends and family by making a habit of sharing what you're thankful for in your group chat or over family dinner.
Get Organized
While you're unlikely to eliminate stress from your life completely, you can significantly reduce it by getting organized. Keep on top of deadlines by implementing the Ivy Lee Method. This approach, famously adopted by tech exec Steve Jobs and Ariana Huffington, only requires about 10 minutes at the end of your day.
Take a few moments to look over your calendar and prioritize your upcoming day's schedule. You'll rest easy knowing you've got a game plan for even the most stressful workday.
Set and Keep Boundaries
Serious question: Are you sure the stress and anger you're carrying around are even yours to begin with? When you're constantly offering a listening ear or accommodating others, you can end up putting yourself on the backburner.
Be protective of your time and energy by setting boundaries! There's nothing wrong with claiming time for yourself, and it's ok to say no to friends, family, and coworkers when you're feeling stretched too thin.
Whether you're continuously checking your work email on the weekend or consistently picking up the slack for a friend, a lack of boundaries can lead to burnout. Setting clear boundaries and expectations with those in your life will help you reduce mental stress — and can also help those around you learn to reclaim and resolve problems on their own.
Remember: "No" is a complete sentence. Don't be afraid to use it.
Hone Your Communication and Listening Skills
When you're feeling stressed, frustrated, or sad, your natural response may be to keep quiet. But, when you bottle up your feelings, one little shake can cause you to explode in anger!
We all know the adage, "if you don't have anything nice to say… don't say it at all". However, there is a way to kindly — and honestly — express even the most complex thoughts and feelings. Look into active listening, and you'll soon be able to say how you feel without boiling over.
How to Minimize Stress in the Moment
Even when you can't prevent stressful situations, you can learn how to better manage them in the moment with a few simple anger management techniques.
Breathe Through It
When you're stressed, you may be quick to jump to anger because of the "fight or flight" response. By placing your hand on your belly and taking slow deep breaths, you can help curb some of that undue anger. Taking control of the rate and depth of your breathing can quickly communicate to your body that this unwanted stress response is not necessary.
Keep a Mantra in Your Back Pocket
When you're feeling frazzled, turning to a mantra can quickly calm you down. Like words, your thoughts are powerful. When you're constantly battling negative, angry thoughts, you'll continue to experience more symptoms of stress.
Mantras have been used for centuries to help focus thoughts and achieve mental stillness. You can find pre-written mantras specific to all kinds of situations, including anger. If prewritten mantras don't resonate with you, consider creating your own.
Count to Ten Before You Speak
Taking a moment to pause before you speak can significantly improve your communication and stop an angry, unwanted outburst from occurring. Consciously taking a brief, ten-second pause to think before you speak will allow you to gather your thoughts and may help you keep your tongue in check.
Practice Active Listening
Practicing active listening can help improve your communication. Try to avoid listening to respond. If you're constantly thinking about what you're going to say next or predicting someone's following statement, you will likely not receive the intended message.
Active listening is a good communication skill and also an excellent way to prevent an angry outburst. Remember: you can't always predict what others are thinking.
Remove Yourself from a Triggering Situation
There are, of course, some situations where no amount of deep breathing or active listening will help. If you find yourself striking out against someone who won't calm down, it can be best to remove yourself from the situation until things cool off. Let everyone regain their composure and revisit the topic — calmly — another time.
